It can be very difficult to get over a breakup. However, it can be even more difficult to recover from a failed relationship if your partner was cheating on you. Learning to trust again is one of the most important obstacles people must conquer if they wish to have successful future relationships.
The first step in learning to trust your new partner is to realize that they are not your ex. No matter how easy it is to project your feelings from your past relationship on your new partner, you must realize that they are two different people.
Just because your ex cheated on you or disrespected you does not mean that your new partner will behave the same way. If you are in a new relationship, you must start off fresh. That means that you should leave past baggage in the past. You should also make sure that you do not project your past relationships on your new partner.
When you start a new relationship you should start off by giving your partner trust. You may have heard it said that trust should be earned, but you’ll find that your relationships will flow smoothly if you start off by giving each other trust and respect.
If you trust your partner from the beginning and make sure that you understand your partner has nothing to do with the way your ex behaved, your relationship has a good chance of making it. However, what can be very confusing is when your partner has cheated on you and then wants to earn your trust again. There is no doubt that it is much easier to give trust to a new partner after being hurt by an ex, than it is to restore trust in a relationship that has been wracked with lies, deceit, or dishonesty.
If you are in a relationship and your partner cheated on you, or somehow betrayed your trust, you may find that even though you have committed to giving your relationship a second chance, it may be very difficult to trust again. Trusting your partner after a betrayal is one of the most difficult things to do, however it is the pivotal part of restoring your relationship.
If you do not learn to trust your partner again, your commitment to work things out in your relationship will not be successful. You will most likely find that restoring trust in a damaged relationship is the most difficult thing that you can do. One of the best things that you can do, if in this situation, let your partner know exactly how you feel.
You may find that you need your partner to be more accountable to you, so that you can restore trust. This may mean that you need your partner to call more, visit more, or even let you know where they are throughout the day. Some partners may feel that this type of accountability is unreasonable, and problems will continue to grow. In fact, some partners decide that it is too much trouble to work on the relationship.
The only way to restore trust in a relationship is too have both partners committed to building and establishing trust again.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Getting over a break.
This is one of the most difficult parts of a love life to get over, how do I get over a relationship break up. It is tough nursing a broken heart, and we all need a little help to get over this. The lesson here is that friends and family, basically company, is needed to get over a heart break. Read on to find out how to get over a break up!
As impossible as it may seem, the rule of thumb to deal with this is to tell yourself that you want to get over him or her. If there is still a little bit inside you that wants it to still work out, then you will never get over your ex lover. And nothing you do will ever work. It has got to start with inside yourself. Your mind is the most powerful after all. You need to stay away from him or her during the initial period till you are comfortable with meeting him again. Chances are, if you keep being in their company, you will NEVER get over it and you will be stuck. So please, be brave and take the first step and avoid the person. While you are avoiding the person, below are some things that you can do to make it easier.
Below are some steps that you can take to get over a break up.
Talk to someone about the break up. You need to let it out! Bottling it up inside of you is never going to solve your problem. Always verbalize your problems to a listening ear. Any problem whatsoever.
Talk to someone in a similar situation helps too.
Get busy. Occupy yourself with meaningful things like picking up a hobby or learning something new or preoccupying yourself with books and work.
Laughter as always is the best medicine. It always makes you feel better no matter what. Watch funny movies, chill and laugh around with your friends.
Get rid of whatever items that remind you of your partner. Numbers, messages, letters, gifts. If you can't bear to throw them away, put them with your close friend or somewhere you can't easily get to.
Write down all the hurts and angst inside you on a piece of paper and throw it away. Make the getting over tangible. Helps heaps too.
As impossible as it may seem, the rule of thumb to deal with this is to tell yourself that you want to get over him or her. If there is still a little bit inside you that wants it to still work out, then you will never get over your ex lover. And nothing you do will ever work. It has got to start with inside yourself. Your mind is the most powerful after all. You need to stay away from him or her during the initial period till you are comfortable with meeting him again. Chances are, if you keep being in their company, you will NEVER get over it and you will be stuck. So please, be brave and take the first step and avoid the person. While you are avoiding the person, below are some things that you can do to make it easier.
Below are some steps that you can take to get over a break up.
Talk to someone about the break up. You need to let it out! Bottling it up inside of you is never going to solve your problem. Always verbalize your problems to a listening ear. Any problem whatsoever.
Talk to someone in a similar situation helps too.
Get busy. Occupy yourself with meaningful things like picking up a hobby or learning something new or preoccupying yourself with books and work.
Laughter as always is the best medicine. It always makes you feel better no matter what. Watch funny movies, chill and laugh around with your friends.
Get rid of whatever items that remind you of your partner. Numbers, messages, letters, gifts. If you can't bear to throw them away, put them with your close friend or somewhere you can't easily get to.
Write down all the hurts and angst inside you on a piece of paper and throw it away. Make the getting over tangible. Helps heaps too.
Enjoying life!
People every day go through tough situations in life, and its really too easy to treat ourselves harshly. Maybe today's the day to press through to to fulfill your dreams. It starts with you. small steps at a time.
How can you become a positive person?
The secret lies in making small changes little by little, so in time you can achieve a more positive attitude. Most people tend to direct their thinking toward the negative rather than the positive sides of their lives. We fear what may happen and dwell on the uncertainty of life as if events were to turn out bad toward us.
The solution is re-shifting your mind to focus on the positive.
Here are some tips on how to become a positive person:
• Put yourself on your side! Make a commitment with yourself to become a more positive person. Don’t do it because others want you to or as a reaction to somebody else's opinions;do it for you and because of you. You will be the one to reap the benefits in the first place.
• Make a change in your attitude and your discourse. “I hope it doesn’t rain” can be replaced by “It would be nice to have a sunny day”; a long commuting to work that you always thought as exhausting can be seen as a great opportunity to listen to music, read, or chat with a stranger. It all depends on the perspective.
• Get a couple of books on positive thinking and engage in reading at least ten pages each day. This will make a difference on the way you see things overtime.
• Surround yourself with positive and joyful people. When you meet someone that makes you feel better because they look on the bright side of life, decide to speak with them more often. Observe the way they see life and the words they choose to use. It will help you make your life more positive!
• Create your own set of affirmation cards with positive thinking affirmations, carry them with you and read them anytime, anywhere. Read them in the first hour of the day and before you go to sleep for a number of days, and you will be amazed by the positive impact this habit has on you.
A thought at a time
We are dealing with a thought and one thought alone at any given time, and a thought can always be changed. Even the most difficult or painful circumstance appears differently when you change the way you think about it. You don’t need to change the circumstances, only your way to think about them.
--
I believe the thing that has helped me the most in remaining positive through out life is to have a God that I can trust. He has provide his word, in which for me is a guide in which to live life. I have a friend in God, someone that loves me cares for me with every step I make. A God you wants the best for me. He is bigger than you and me, and he knows all. How could I not remain positive when I have this.
I am no expert - but hope this helps someone. Harry
How can you become a positive person?
The secret lies in making small changes little by little, so in time you can achieve a more positive attitude. Most people tend to direct their thinking toward the negative rather than the positive sides of their lives. We fear what may happen and dwell on the uncertainty of life as if events were to turn out bad toward us.
The solution is re-shifting your mind to focus on the positive.
Here are some tips on how to become a positive person:
• Put yourself on your side! Make a commitment with yourself to become a more positive person. Don’t do it because others want you to or as a reaction to somebody else's opinions;do it for you and because of you. You will be the one to reap the benefits in the first place.
• Make a change in your attitude and your discourse. “I hope it doesn’t rain” can be replaced by “It would be nice to have a sunny day”; a long commuting to work that you always thought as exhausting can be seen as a great opportunity to listen to music, read, or chat with a stranger. It all depends on the perspective.
• Get a couple of books on positive thinking and engage in reading at least ten pages each day. This will make a difference on the way you see things overtime.
• Surround yourself with positive and joyful people. When you meet someone that makes you feel better because they look on the bright side of life, decide to speak with them more often. Observe the way they see life and the words they choose to use. It will help you make your life more positive!
• Create your own set of affirmation cards with positive thinking affirmations, carry them with you and read them anytime, anywhere. Read them in the first hour of the day and before you go to sleep for a number of days, and you will be amazed by the positive impact this habit has on you.
A thought at a time
We are dealing with a thought and one thought alone at any given time, and a thought can always be changed. Even the most difficult or painful circumstance appears differently when you change the way you think about it. You don’t need to change the circumstances, only your way to think about them.
--
I believe the thing that has helped me the most in remaining positive through out life is to have a God that I can trust. He has provide his word, in which for me is a guide in which to live life. I have a friend in God, someone that loves me cares for me with every step I make. A God you wants the best for me. He is bigger than you and me, and he knows all. How could I not remain positive when I have this.
I am no expert - but hope this helps someone. Harry
Being you!!
I listened to a man speak the other day. What he had to say helped me through some of life's challenges....I took notes hoping that it may help you also.
In the midnight hour don’t let lies take over, I’m to old, I’m not good enough, if only I was like her/him I would be accepted. Don’t let dumb lies/excuses hold you back from moving forward.
You don’t need to be anyone but YOU. YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY GOOD ENOUGH. No BUTS, no excuses.
Sometimes life hurts us, it doesn’t always go to plan. Sometimes we talk ourselves out of life, hope, excitement, value. Again we believe the lies.
When things in your life go wrong, quite often it is down to your thoughts.
Sometimes we get stuck on our lifes journey. We stop our journey, WHY? - NO MORE WHY. Time to move on. Leave the why back there. Sometimes the why is about learning. Focus on this - where is my future going?. How am I going to move forward?
If we do not protect our thought life - we are in danger of reaping something that we may not want.
Plan for the future, don’t live in the past. How do you deal with the past Answer: Plan a huge future - if you sow you will reap. If you haven’t a future, where are you going? Plan your future, it MUST be bigger than you past.
Life is a journey not a destination, don’t work towards destination - live life for now - its a journey, everything in life is about learning. What your life is now is not the end of your journey.
---
Weeds grow in the garden, if we do not pull the weeds out our plants will be destroyed. There are weeds in our life also, are we letting the weeds destroy us?
What do we do when we pull the weeds, we either replant or the garden will flourish.
Remove the weeds, your life will flourish. Its about changing YOUR OWN life. What can I do to move into a great future.
Often we choose to believe the lies that we and others tell us. Sometimes we think we are hopeless, because we fail, or we are hopeless because of what nasty words someone has said. We are not hopeless because we fail,we have made a mistake, whats so wrong about making a mistake, aren't we all still learning? NO BUTS.
Someone may have said nasty words...SO WHO ARE THEY? are they perfect? nope...lies, choose to listen to them and it will take you down. NO BUTS. Stop the lies that feed you.
Its what WE choose to believe that makes the difference.
There are generations older and younger that rely on us
In the midnight hour don’t let lies take over, I’m to old, I’m not good enough, if only I was like her/him I would be accepted. Don’t let dumb lies/excuses hold you back from moving forward.
You don’t need to be anyone but YOU. YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY GOOD ENOUGH. No BUTS, no excuses.
Sometimes life hurts us, it doesn’t always go to plan. Sometimes we talk ourselves out of life, hope, excitement, value. Again we believe the lies.
When things in your life go wrong, quite often it is down to your thoughts.
Sometimes we get stuck on our lifes journey. We stop our journey, WHY? - NO MORE WHY. Time to move on. Leave the why back there. Sometimes the why is about learning. Focus on this - where is my future going?. How am I going to move forward?
If we do not protect our thought life - we are in danger of reaping something that we may not want.
Plan for the future, don’t live in the past. How do you deal with the past Answer: Plan a huge future - if you sow you will reap. If you haven’t a future, where are you going? Plan your future, it MUST be bigger than you past.
Life is a journey not a destination, don’t work towards destination - live life for now - its a journey, everything in life is about learning. What your life is now is not the end of your journey.
---
Weeds grow in the garden, if we do not pull the weeds out our plants will be destroyed. There are weeds in our life also, are we letting the weeds destroy us?
What do we do when we pull the weeds, we either replant or the garden will flourish.
Remove the weeds, your life will flourish. Its about changing YOUR OWN life. What can I do to move into a great future.
Often we choose to believe the lies that we and others tell us. Sometimes we think we are hopeless, because we fail, or we are hopeless because of what nasty words someone has said. We are not hopeless because we fail,we have made a mistake, whats so wrong about making a mistake, aren't we all still learning? NO BUTS.
Someone may have said nasty words...SO WHO ARE THEY? are they perfect? nope...lies, choose to listen to them and it will take you down. NO BUTS. Stop the lies that feed you.
Its what WE choose to believe that makes the difference.
There are generations older and younger that rely on us
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